


Identity

by hikawasrinko (ranpoandpoe)



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Acting, Character Study, DRAMAtical Lesbians, F/F, Nonbinary Character, Relationship Discussions, Trans Character, a little bit??? idek, kaoru is nonbinary!!!!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21934783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/hikawasrinko
Summary: “Who’s the person standing in front of me?”(or: the one where Kaoru and Chisato discuss their feelings. And Kaoru comes out as nonbinary.)
Relationships: Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Kudos: 19





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [siklab](https://archiveofourown.org/users/siklab/gifts).



> this kaochisa piece is to @afterglowism and @haksaze!

_ “Who’s the person standing in front of me?” _

That was the feeling Chisato had whenever she saw Kaoru. A badly written character: grotesque and where did all that confidence come from, so sudden? The sensation of betrayal rose in her chest as she repeated to herself, like a mantra, that this was  _ not  _ her Kaoru. 

The girl she loved, her Kaoru, was sweet and shy. She was endearingly caring and Chisato had never found a listener like her; she was dedicated and kind, and she’d run away from crowds because those overwhelmed her. Her Kaoru was the kind of person who wouldn’t consider an acting career after her child actor friend confessed her traumas the industry gave her. 

But the truth was, despite everything, Chisato missed her Kaoru, and she was willing to give that new one a chance, hoping that eventually, her dearest would come back to her. Which was why, when Kaoru allowed her to see a glimpse of her old self’s ghost one day, Chisato collected all of her strength to understand — for Kaoru.

“Why did you get distant?” Kaoru asked. Her usual cheerfulness was gone and she was no longer confident, she just seemed… lost. Somehow, it was awfully familiar to Chisato. “You loved me and I loved you, so why did you have to change the way you acted around me and push me away? I don’t—”

“You betrayed me… I opened up and told you about… my trauma as a child actress, and you decided to pursue an acting career anyway…” Chisato pronounced her words calmly, but different from her usual: her voice was calm, but the storm inside could be seen in her eyes. Their relationship wasn’t like before, but she could already feel the thing she liked the most about being with Kaoru: she had to be an actress full time, faking and being the person people needed her to be, but with Kaoru, she was just the broken, damaged Shirasagi Chisato. 

“Chisato, I…” For the first time, Chisato missed the dramatic part of Kaoru’s personality: she’d take it over the sad, but too tired to cry, eyes anytime. “I didn’t start acting because of you. I did, because… it is me.” 

“Which Kaoru? The current one or… my Kaoru?”

She smiled, and Chisato didn’t quite understand the action. “Both, my dear Chisato… I  _ am  _ the delicate and flustered princess and the strong, courageous prince. I don’t play the role, I  _ am  _ the role, my Chisato — within me, both masculinity and femininity live in harmony.”

“So… you didn’t mean to use me…” Chisato whispered to herself, trying to put the pieces together. Kaoru, her Kao-chan, had never meant any harm, she was just… at that moment, Chisato felt she was a terrible person. Kaoru’s gender wasn’t limited by the norm — she wouldn’t allow a social construction like gender to make her feel stuck, those were Hina’s words when she explained her own non-binary identity to the rest of Pastel*Palettes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been insensitive and ignorant with you for… a long time. I know I don’t deserve, but I have to try— would you be my Kaoru again?”

Kaoru couldn’t help but smile. She grabbed the other’s hand, bowing slightly and applying a kiss on its surface as if they were in a 1800s setting. “Only if you’d be my Chisato.”

**Author's Note:**

> having a fic written all for yourself doesn't show if my affection's bigger or not, ok???? this writer was just out of ideas AND time so since i was gonna write two kaochisa fics for both of you two, louis n meg, i decided to write only one shjdjsjkdkjsk i hope you two like it...............


End file.
